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Can a marriage survive if.....

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Mattew
Active Ink Slinger
Hi folks,

please be serious and helpful.....what should do a husband of stunning and young white gal if she accepted to be the mother of her lover son/daughter...and this man is African?
Should he leave or is believable their marriage could survive....
Precisely how the husband should deal with her African lover and their acquaitances?
Please be helpful....you all understand the psychological difficulties and matters....
Unknown User
Can you repeat the question?

White chick is in love w/ blk guy? Is that the question? married? Why is the guy second guessing himself?
Unknown User
I swear this has been asked before but I can't find it now. Basically he's asking what do about his white wife having her African lover's baby. Not sure if this is real or hypothetical. Roughly.
noll
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
Quote by Mattew
Hi folks,

please be serious and helpful.....what should do a husband of stunning and young white gal if she accepted to be the mother of her lover son/daughter...and this man is African?
Should he leave or is believable their marriage could survive....
Precisely how the husband should deal with her African lover and their acquaitances?
Please be helpful....you all understand the psychological difficulties and matters....



Why does it matter whether the lover is African?


===  Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER  ===
honeydipped
The Bee's Knees
Quote by HeraTeleia
I'm thinking this is some kind of bizarre fantasy/revenge fantasy now.


it definitely fits the theme of his other questions posed here.

Say. Her. Name.
NOLAHotGal
Active Ink Slinger
If she is doing this against her husband's wishes and is going to do it any way, it is time for D I V O R C E. The big D and I don't mean Dallas. As fast as possible.

If there is no mutual consent, it is cheating. Cheating by its self can be a survivable event in a marriage. Adding a child to this equation makes it nearly impossible for a marriage to survive.

Brandie
Mattew
Active Ink Slinger
Hi Brandie, truly speaking my wife just took her decision and said it was her own decision...so if want to keep being with her, should live with it!
dream_weaver
Active Ink Slinger
Matthew since your married there is no my decisions! It’s an our decision always! If she makes a statement like it’s my decision and yours don’t matter then there’s a problem! You have a few choices, you accept it but probably will never be ok and it causes issues, you man up and put your foot down and be prepared for it to either straighten out or go south! Either way you have to look at you in the morning. That’s my two cents for what it’s worth.
skipdreams
Rookie Scribe
I tend to agree. There should not be “I” in a couple. Not for decisions like this anyway. But its up to you if you want to live with it or not.
Whatever you decision is, you will have to live with it and never complain.

I know what mine would be; i would not stick around.

Sadly, there is no easy answer to that one... do waht your heart tells you to do...
She
Marx Sister
So, in response to the last couple of answers... It's not that I don't get that couples should approach problems as team, but at the same time, nobody can tell someone else what to do with their body. When a man tells a woman what she can do with her reproductive system it's a whole new level, also.

The fact that you've been focused on the color of his skin and/or ethnicity kind of makes me feel there is another layer of prejudice underlying this question, but that is merely suspicion. If you'd care to confirm or deny that, I'm kind of interested.

Anyway, the problem here is not whether or not she can/should have a child with her other partner. It's whether or not you want to be with her. It's probably worth asking if you're poly, have an open relationship, etc. Would he be the child's father, or just a biological donor, as it were? There's a lot more questions I could ask, but mostly, this is just about whether or not you want to be with her still. Nothing else.
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ChandlerAja2
Active Ink Slinger
I would think it would be about the same as if she decided to have a child with an European, Latino or Asian Lover.
skipdreams
Rookie Scribe
Indeed She, it has nothing to do with the color of the skin. The same rule applies to men as well. They should not have children with other women and bring them back in the family without their wife agreement.
I agree, everyone owns their own body but when you live in a couple, things should be done together. Otherwise, whats the goal of bieng with someone else?

The same “rules” apply to both.
Guest
Lurker
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Mattew
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by She
So, in response to the last couple of answers... It's not that I don't get that couples should approach problems as team, but at the same time, nobody can tell someone else what to do with their body. When a man tells a woman what she can do with her reproductive system it's a whole new level, also.

The fact that you've been focused on the color of his skin and/or ethnicity kind of makes me feel there is another layer of prejudice underlying this question, but that is merely suspicion. If you'd care to confirm or deny that, I'm kind of interested.

Anyway, the problem here is not whether or not she can/should have a child with her other partner. It's whether or not you want to be with her. It's probably worth asking if you're poly, have an open relationship, etc. Would he be the child's father, or just a biological donor, as it were? There's a lot more questions I could ask, but mostly, this is just about whether or not you want to be with her still. Nothing else.

in someway
Thanks so much for your contribution She....i think as concerns me the problem is how dramatically my wife liason can be hurt and upset our marriage....since her African lover has convinced her to be the mother of his child!!
I have never been recist or race biased but as you can readily immagine a African resemblances child could in someway make people understand my cheated me!
I also wonder and will never understand her African lover request to get her mother....
Mattew
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by NOLAHotGal
If she is doing this against her husband's wishes and is going to do it any way, it is time for D I V O R C E. The big D and I don't mean Dallas. As fast as possible.

If there is no mutual consent, it is cheating. Cheating by its self can be a survivable event in a marriage. Adding a child to this equation makes it nearly impossible for a marriage to survive.

Brandie


Thanks Brandie...i was wondering if it is possible that our marriage survive even there is a child who is not mine.
That i was asking not was racist or biased by prejudice....i jest meant that a child from her African lover obiouvsly be detected as not mine and so everyone would identify my wife liason.
Thanks
Guest
Lurker
Quote by Mattew
Hi folks,

please be serious and helpful.....what should do a husband of stunning and young white gal if she accepted to be the mother of her lover son/daughter...and this man is African?
Should he leave or is believable their marriage could survive....
Precisely how the husband should deal with her African lover and their acquaitances?
Please be helpful....you all understand the psychological difficulties and matters....




What country in Africa is he from?
Milik_the_Red
Internet Philosopher
Quote by seeker4
I swear this has been asked before but I can't find it now. Basically he's asking what do about his white wife having her African lover's baby. Not sure if this is real or hypothetical. Roughly.


Okay, thanks for the translation.

First, race would have no bearing on the situation for me, but (hypothetically as it would never happen) I doubt I could stay if any woman I was with had another lover and I’d be gone long before she gave birth to his baby.

Now, if she was pregnant before we got together, I’d love the kid like it was my own.
noll
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
Did you answer one of those "I'm a Nigerian prince and I'd like to make a big deposit in your account" emails?


===  Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER  ===
Unknown User
Pvt Message explanation was hilarious.
Mattew
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Milik_the_Red


Okay, thanks for the translation.

First, race would have no bearing on the situation for me, but (hypothetically as it would never happen) I doubt I could stay if any woman I was with had another lover and I’d be gone long before she gave birth to his baby.

Now, if she was pregnant before we got together, I’d love the kid like it was my own.



As far as i know Senegal
Mattew
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by LovingSadist



What country in Africa is he from?


As far as i know Senegal
Mattew
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Milik_the_Red


Okay, thanks for the translation.

First, race would have no bearing on the situation for me, but (hypothetically as it would never happen) I doubt I could stay if any woman I was with had another lover and I’d be gone long before she gave birth to his baby.

Now, if she was pregnant before we got together, I’d love the kid like it was my own.


So you would leave and run away from her.....
babymary1000
Rookie Scribe
get with it and ask if u can watch
Mattew
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by babymary1000
get with it and ask if u can watch


I have already done it....now the problem if i can cope with her pregnancy....i mean if our marriage can survive...
Milik_the_Red
Internet Philosopher
Quote by Mattew


So you would leave and run away from her.....


If she did this while married to me and without my consent, I’d walk away with dignity and self respect