The fact she might tie me up or do something else was very much a glorious additional delight but her Dominance over me gave me most of what I needed to be completely utterly content.
If you only get fired up when it's in the bedroom its just kinky stuff.
Interesting question.
There are women who are natural submissives which mean that they are submissive as a lifestyle.
More and more though there are another brand I've found which is women who have a lot of responsibility or have a demanding career who have to make a lot of decisions in their day to day life. They find a great release in handing over all control in the bedroom.
For me the distinction is power exchange vs fetishes. If a particular thing (e.g. being tied up, spanked) turns you on I'd say it was a fetish. If power exchange - being told what to do and getting arousal from going into a headspace where you don't get to decide what happens - gets your juices flowing, you're probably into D/s.
This is especially true if you like to switch. But that's another conversation.
Names won't matter. Do as you both wish, but be careful not to get hurt. Especially emotionally.
Dom/sub is about power exchange. You can be D/s with no sex at all and, in some cases, with no contact. Spanking and bondage can be in the kink realm, which I think of as "unconventional" acts, but don't necessarily involve sex. If you're involved in kink play without power exchange, the terms tend to be top and bottom rather than D/s. You sound like a kinky switch with a tendency to bottom but not it's more important how you see yourself and how you want to present to potential future partners.
I'm definitely not a sub.I like to dominate both men and women.I'm very kinky