how to come out

19 Aug 2014

So. I hope that this LGBT forum is more polite than the others I've been to, because i have a few questions....
-how do you tell someone that you are trans when they have been your best friend for years and you know they aren't very accepting of that sorrt of thing?
-how do you find a trans therapist in the area when they aren't listed on the major sites?
-how do you come out to parents who are not accepting at all about that and are likely to shun you or call you stupid?

Look I'm sure a lot of you are going to tell me a website to go to or to google it. don't waste my time. I've looked. unless you can be truly helpful and supportive don't comment please. Thanks loves

19 Aug 2014

I don't know much about this but it just seems to me if you are accepting of yourself, if you live like it's the most normal and natural way to be and don't think of it as weird enough to require therapy, those who really care about you as a person will come around and those who don't come around don't really care about you as a a person. It requires inner strength and courage and you have to love yourself. I don't know if that helps. Maybe also find new friends who are more like you, I'm sure there are others in your metropolitan area.

19 Aug 2014

I live in a tiny community hon haha. i grew up in a town of 1200 people and am moving to a "city" of not much more, but thanks for the support

19 Aug 2014

Quote by Stormyfyre
So. I hope that this LGBT forum is more polite than the others I've been to, because i have a few questions....
-how do you tell someone that you are trans when they have been your best friend for years and you know they aren't very accepting of that sorrt of thing?
-how do you find a trans therapist in the area when they aren't listed on the major sites?
-how do you come out to parents who are not accepting at all about that and are likely to shun you or call you stupid?

Look I'm sure a lot of you are going to tell me a website to go to or to google it. don't waste my time. I've looked. unless you can be truly helpful and supportive don't comment please. Thanks loves

Well we are usually polite, even if you seem a little prickly. Anyway as far as your questions go there are no easy answers.
Your best friend, you'll have to bite the bullet and tell him/her. Better to go somewhere quiet and explain how you feel inside, the turmoil that you have to go through every day. Be prepared to be totally honest if they ask questions and give them time to get used to the idea. However, there is a chance that they will reject you, it happens.
As far as a trans therapist goes, I've never heard of one. In the UK you need to be evaluated by a psychiatrist, most will be able to do it. You have to live as a woman for a period of time and then get hormone treatment. After that, you would be referred to a surgeon for gender realignment.
I'm not going to give you advice about you family, they are all different. It's not like coming out as gay, you are changing gender and that can't be hidden. Their friends and neighbours will all be aware, so it's not easy for them.
Not a google recommendation in sight, lol.
Good luck.

19 Aug 2014

Sorry if i seemed rude, I've been in a couple of sites where the chat room was very harsh sad

anywayd, thanks for the advice. smile

19 Aug 2014

Quote by Stormyfyre
Sorry if i seemed rude, I've been in a couple of sites where the chat room was very harsh anywayd, thanks for the advice.

I'm not going to say I understand what you are going through, I don't. In my view being gay is easy compared to your situation. I'm sure you've come across more than your fair share off assholes.
No doubt you'll find some here but they are in the minority. I think that overall there's a decent bunch of people here. However, if anyone does insult you, then report it.

20 Aug 2014

Quote by Stormyfyre
So. I hope that this LGBT forum is more polite than the others I've been to, because i have a few questions....
-how do you tell someone that you are trans when they have been your best friend for years and you know they aren't very accepting of that sorrt of thing?
-how do you find a trans therapist in the area when they aren't listed on the major sites?
-how do you come out to parents who are not accepting at all about that and are likely to shun you or call you stupid?

Look I'm sure a lot of you are going to tell me a website to go to or to google it. don't waste my time. I've looked. unless you can be truly helpful and supportive don't comment please. Thanks loves

- as every other difficult thing, you take deep breath and just do it. Longer you wait worst is going to get. I believe it is not easy, you need to know what is going on in your head first and with your emotions. There will be questions, so you need to answer at least basic ones.

- trans therapist? I don't know, however, I would go to one near by you and ask her/him how to proceed to find what you are looking for. If anyone knows, they should know. They are educating themselves constantly (at least they should), they are socializing in circles because of the work and I am sure they know each other or at least where to look for one you need. I would do it like that anyway.

- all my big decisions that I told my parents were in the same momentum. I was just informing them, thing was not debatable, if they wanted to say opinion they could in a respectful tone or I didn't continue to have the talk. You don't ask for permission, you are kind enough to inform them, they will see your confidence and your firm decisions and that would calm them. Don't forget, people close to us sometimes act like idiots because of the fear, and fear of unknown is specially strong.

good luck!

21 Aug 2014

Excellent response from She. I can't improve on anything, so I won't even try.

I wish you all the best. One thing you have going for you is your age and the times we live in today. Steps like this were much more difficult 30 years ago. Probably why I never said anything to anyone and stayed locked in fear my whole life.

5 Sep 2018

My life is a secret, except for the guys I have fun with. Coming out and being openly gay and a cross dresser would be difficult where I live and in my situation. One day I might.

17 Dec 2018

The only person you need to come out to is yourself as you don't need to come out to anyone

16 Aug 2023

Just come right to the point and say it.If they know you and care about you it shouldn't matter "what" you are or how you identify.After all you have to be "YOU".If they don't accept you then they were probably not really your friend in the first place

28 Dec 2024

Just DO IT

29 Dec 2024

For me it was easy.Everyone already knew including my family