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ShamelessFlirt
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 155
United States

Forum

Quote by Verbal
Hey, I might actually enter a contest and give Mind Control a shot. Though I wish the category was Mime Control. Those guys are getting out of hand (I already used that line once somewhere else).

I have a new Steampunk readying to hit the front page too, but it's part of a series and wouldn't really fit.

Youngest is sick, and during finals week. I reined in my parental instincts, pumped her full of ibuprofen, and sent her on her way. Tomorrow's the last day of school anyway, just have to crawl to the finish line.

Köffee!!!



I knew a mime when I was a child. He performed unspeakable acts for me.

He was a street performer and the cops picked him up on attempted murmur. When they interrogated him, of course he had nothing to say.
Quote by Joylicks
Peeking in...


I used to get take-out from a joint with that name, but I think English wasn't their first language 'cause they spelled it all wrong.

Peppermint tea please
Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then decides to take their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "If I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a .

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, comfortable."

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you just write, comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. She'll read it slowly."
Quote by browncoffee
Wow! This was such a great competition and I know that because I read every single entry (sweating and swearing because they all seemed too good and I detested every other entrant in the darkest corners of my cold heart.) But for real, I thought the entries were really good. I'm really honoured to be placed first and I'd like to say congratulations to the rest of the top 10 and to everybody who entered and thank you to the judges and all the readers. It was kinda tough coming up with a story centred on boobs but you guys made it worth it. It's also especially wonderful that the site could make such a generous contribution to a very, very worthy cause. Anyway, I guess this means drinks are on me, but hurry because my tab closes by midnight tonight! (I'm a poor writer, okay?)


Maybe Nicola will give you a badge for reading every entry, they could call it a "Bewbie-prize"

And I would like to point out that you are an excellent writer and nobody that's read your work would ever refer to you as poor!
I just wanted to share this poem, which was inspired by PurePurplePassion like most of what I've written since getting to know her. It's in the "erotic poems" category entitled First Time and attempts to paint a picture of that first glance, first kiss and first time making love.

I wrote this one free verse deviating from my usual style. I hope I managed to pull it off.



Please enjoy First Time

https://www.weihailove.com/stories/erotic-poems/first-time-2.aspx#5a18ed9cb3bc2022dc229a3c
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and
help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a
tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over
the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to
her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going
to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a
nice cup of tea, and then ..." He sighed......... . "Let's put all
the Frosted Flakes back in the box......."
Quote by gav
We use a widget provided by Amazon to delivery the story content to your device. There should be no reason this doesn't work for you.

I've read the specs again for this and based upon their advice, I've added some more tags to help the reader pick out the relevant meta data of the story.

Let me know if things improve for you.


Opening the story, I click the "send to kindle" button, sign-in to Amazon with no apparent errors and the screen sits there with no error message almost as if there's no handshake ...

Quote by Denim_Daisy10


howdy Stranger !!
How goes it ?




Very slowly, but I'll survive.

Quote by Denim_Daisy10
Rump I could use a nice tall glass of sweet tea with a little something strong in it please
Oh and a sledgehammer too


Rump, give her regular tea and tell her to stir it with her finger!
Quote by TonyaL
Good morning and happy Friday my friends. I would love some hot tea today. Hope you got a little sleep Gil. I know insomnia sucks. Evryone have a great day and weekend.




Isn't that what Chris said when he met you? :P

Hope all is well with you and the rest of you lot.
Quote by BigGarrett
Kindles will only read Mobi files. If you have your work on a Word document use this site https://ebook.online-convert.com/convert-to-mobi to convert theDoc file to Mobi, then use a piece of software called Cailbre to upload to Kindle. Cailbre is an Ebook management program, a must for Kindle owners.


Are you saying the link that reads "send to kindle" when you view a story doesn't work?
I'm trying to send my poems to my kindle, but they don't seem to transfer.

I get the pop-up, sign-in to Amazon and hit send but nothing seems to happen. And I'm also curious, I don't see the authors name listed in the preview, if I can get this to work will my ID show up?

Any help will be appreciated!
I seriously have no idea which category I voted for, the screen flashed and I saw a pop-up thanking me for my vote.
Why are there seperate ways to post here in the forums and on the rest of the site?

In one place, to post a youtube video you need the embed code and everywhere else you need the url.

And posting an emoji here is different than posting a comment on a story!


Is there a separate listing I'm missing for posting emoji's in comments? I even tried using the img tag.
Please save what's left of my questionable sanity!
Quote by sprite
flies and buzzards... really should start showering more often...


Golden showers are what's attracting the flies
I'm the same smartass IRL as I am here and I have the bruises to prove it. I don't feel the need to pose as another character when I can play with myself.
Quote by sprite


https://www.weihailove.com/forum/yaf_postst58899_Poetry-Submissions.aspx


The question asked, "What category you would like to have". If it's already been decided and you're not interested to learn that the community might feel differently that's another matter. At its face, it implies any category including those currently against the TOS would be considered. Just sayin'.

And yes, I totally get that it's not in line with the tone you're trying to set.
Quote by browncoffee
...then you really should check out my stories!

The first chapter of my (completed) East Coast, West Coast series has more than 10,000 views! I know! It's only been up for just over a month!


Aren't you supposed to see a doctor if it's over four hours??
Quote by nicola
We've been through all these, and doing some brainstorming ourselves.

Stay tuned for a bunch of new categories, coming soon!


Are you considering a premature ejaculation category?