Coconut Curry Soup. Did we use too much lemon grass?
Yeah, definitely too much lemongrass. Too late now. Add the ginger.
OK.
…
Why are you staring at it?
The ginger reminded me of that thing we read about. You know.
… You need to stop thinking about that.
You know. On the Salacious Inquiry.
I know what you’re talking about, but maybe… don’t?
Figging.
Yeah, I told you. I know.
Weird, right?
Yes, yes, it is. So, why are we thinking about it?
I mean, the ginger is right here. Do you think it’s really so bad?
…
Like if we…
No.
I mean, I’m not going to. That would be stupid.
Agreed.
So I wouldn’t really… you know.
Stick a piece of ginger up our ass? No. We won’t be doing that.
Yeah.
So stop thinking about it.
I did.
No, you didn’t.
Do you think it’s peeled first?
What?
Do you think you peel the ginger?
Why do you need to know?
I don’t need to know. I’m just curious.
That’s stupid. It’s a stupid question.
No, it’s not! It’s a legitimate hypothetical question.
No, it’s a stupid fucking question someone would only ask if they are going to put a piece of ginger up their ass.
I told you, it’s a hypothetical.
We both know it isn’t.
Fine. Whatever. I’ll drop it.
Good.
But what if…
Fine. Fuck. If you HYPOTHETICALLY were to shove a piece of ginger up your ass you would peel it. Obviously.
Why is that obvious?
Because one: The outside of ginger is dirty.
But it’s up your ass. Who cares if it’s…
AND TWO! And two: More surface area. It’s supposed to sting. If you go, you obviously are going all in.
HA! You’ve thought about this.
Well yeah. But only out of curiosity. Like when they mentioned it we read a Wikipedia article and then deep-dived into several other articles because ADHD gets weird sometimes.
So you’ve thought about putting ginger up our ass.
No! It’s completely different than you. I researched a word I didn’t know and fell down a rabbit hole. You have independently seen a piece of ginger and our dumb brain thought, “Maybe I should put this up my ass.” That is why you asked. Not because you are curious! But because you are a dumb asshole and we both know it.
…
I’m sorry I ranted.
…
But you were out of control.
So how far up your ass would you put it?
No. Fucking… Aren’t you ashamed of these thoughts?
No, I’m curious. Wasn’t it like some medieval torture?
No, that was bullshit. That just popped up on the internet one day without a valid source. It first appeared in a publication in the 1970’s.
… Are you sure about that?
Absolutely not. It’s a fucking mess in this brain. It sounds accurate. Should we Google it again?
Yeah, why not?
…
…
OK, first off. By definition, the ginger is skinned.
Oh! Thank you.
And what I thought was complete bullshit. I don’t know where that came from. I’m sorry.
I knew it. It sounded like something else we knew!
What are you talking about?
I don’t know. It was like a thing. Should we Google that?
No. This is dumb.
…
…
So, I see we’ve skinned the ginger and carved it to look like a butt plug.
Yeah, what it looked like on Wikipedia.
Why did you do this? Coconut curry soup. That’s what we were here for! We’ve made the fucking base. Just throw your fucking butt plug ginger into it right now. Don’t even bother cutting it up.
But we should probably cut it up.
No, I worry if you take the time to cut it up, you’re gonna hesitate and then think you should put it up our ass.
The Wikipedia article said it’s a slow build-up.
It also said something about contracting sphincters. What if it gets stuck?
So, you have thought about putting it up our ass?
I have not. Not until you put the idea in our head. And I wish to God I didn’t. But now I have, and, why would we do it?
Curiosity.
Curiosity?
Yeah. Like… how bad does it hurt?
…
So…
Well, we’re not doing this in the kitchen.
Of course not. That would be stupid as hell.
We take it to the bathroom.
Which bathroom?
The one with the detachable head on the shower. We could very well need that. You know, to clean ourselves out.
This is stupid.
I know. But we’re doing it.
Yeah, I guess we’re doing it.
So, do we squat?
Probably.
And.. spread?
Probably.
Huh. Should we not do this?
We are in the bathroom. With the ginger buttplug we carved. So, let’s stop lying to ourselves. We are doing this.
We’re figging.
Yeah, figging.
Fuck.
Agreed.
