Overheard on a bus into town:
“Hi Trisha, God, I nearly strangled myself running for this bus.”
“I kept you a seat, Carol, sit down.”
“Thanks, I’m not able for that anymore, Trisha.”
“The running?”
“Yeah.”
"Are you still working in Tesco?"
"Yeah, it's handy enough; what about you?"
"I'm the same, working in the jewelers."
"You must own shares in that place by now, Trisha."
"I wish, but it's handy at Christmas getting the discounts."
"How's Anita doing? Is she still with that chap that she caught cheating on her?"
"Yeah, feckin' eejit, I'd have run that fucker."
"What's this his name was again?"
"Dickhead!"
"Seriously, Trisha."
"Trevor Cuntface."
"You can't legislate for love, Trish,"
"You don't know what he was up to, Carol."
"What, Trish?"
"I can't say, Carol,"
"You know me long enough, Trish; I wouldn't tell a soul."
"You'd better not, Carol."
"As God is my witness, Trish. What did he do?"
"He came into my bedroom one night; he said he was drunk and thought it was the bathroom."
"No way."
"Yes. I was fast asleep at the time."
"What time was this?"
"I don't know, midnight, maybe?"
"What happened?"
"You know that I sleep in the nude, don't you?"
"Do you? I never knew that."
"Yes, for a few years now. Did I not tell you that?"
"No, is there a reason why?"
"There's a girl at work. She's from Malta, and she has lovely light-tan skin. She says it's healthier."
"Those foreign girls know a lot more than us."
"They think they do."
"Why? Is it not healthier?"
"Not when you have a pervert like Trevor Cuntface coming in to piss in your bed, it isn't."
"Look at this traffic jam again; this is every day."
“You’re too used to being chauffeured around the place. Are you still with Jacko?”
“On and off. Are you seeing anyone, Trisha?”
“No. I’m taking a break.”
“I thought you and Evan were going strong.”
“Ah. I don’t know, Carol.”
“Did something happen, Trish?”
“I’d rather not say, Carol.”
“Did that bastard fuck someone else?”
“No.”
“Tell me; don’t let him make you feel guilty about something that he did, Trish.”
“I can’t say anything, Carol.”
“Why not, Trish?”
“I went out with a fella in work, Carol.”
“So?”
“He’s black.”
“Fuck. Off.”
"I know."
“Just the once?”
“No.”
“How many times?”
“A few.”
“Did you do anything?”
“Kind of.”
“Kind of?"
"Yeah, you know."
"No, how would I know?"
"Have you never done anything with anyone?"
"Yeah, but nothing really bad."
"What's the worst thing you've done?"
"A bit of fingering, that's all."
"When was that? You never said."
"Christmas, at the break-up party, it was just the once, Trish, for fuck sake."
"With who?"
"One of the stockroom lads."
"Where did you do it?"
"For fuck's sake, Trish. It was five minutes of madness; I was drunk."
"Does Evan know?"
"I didn't tell him; I think he suspects something, though."
"How?"
"I can't put my finger on it, really."
"Unlike the stockroom lad, eh?"
