I was strolling through Gastown on a Saturday afternoon, seeking shops that might have treasures to add to my rather bizarre antique collection. I love anything old, the more unusual and odder the better. I have a particular passion for anything of a sexual nature i.e. well endowed fertility god sculptures, vagina figurines, pre 1960 vibrators, Victorian porn photos, copulating couples etc. My prize possession, one that I...

"This place is like Hooters!" a co-worker once remarked. The women at my job did pay very little to the dress code. Not quite at the bikini stage, but they came to the office in tops with plunging necklines and tight little leggings that left little to the imagination. Although sometimes the top parts of their outfits seemed somewhat...conservative, all party down below. Tights, tight jeans, capris, management was lucky t...

  The sun warmed her face as she tipped her chin up into the blanket of summer heat. She had closed her eyes long ago, only after his bronzed chest and shoulders finally failed to block the blazing disk that made its way across the sky above them. She stretched luxuriously under him, her hands and arms exploring the hard contours of muscle and bone. Then, as if gliding through a warm, shifting sea, she spread her arms wid...

T minus thirty seconds to launch. The fearful countdown had resumed for our spacecraft, the Edward D. Wood. Our mission was to search for intelligent life on Planet X in the far-off Duck Dodgers galaxy. It wasn't my first mission but I still find the actual launch both fearful and exhilarating. Fearful because we always run the risk of frying and sizzling like Betty White in a tanning bed. But, exciting because the powerf...

Buzz, buzz, buzz, the alarm clock rang. Today was a usual workday, and at six in the morning she was up. The first thing she ever did was open up her wardrobe, watching the double doors slide open as her gaze automatically fell on her display of undergarments. “Black or purple…” Marnie questioned with a murmur, just thinking for a moment or two. “Frilly or silk, maybe I’ll go for my best velvet.” Laying out her chosen und...

Jack reached the edge of the cliff. He spent over four hours getting there. Finally, he was about to see the province of Natal from the edge of the Highveld. The gravel road was exactly what he expected. Now, for the fun part: the descent into the lush, green coastal province. This was in stark contrast to the Free State's straw coloured high-altitude grasslands. There was no chance of rain that day as it was the dry seas...

My hands weren’t my hands. That’s the first thing I noticed when I opened my eyes. Or I think I noticed it. Were they my hands? Were they not? I couldn’t remember, holy shit, I couldn’t remember. Breathe. Assess. What was around me? White walls. Bright lights. Some sort of medical equipment monitoring… me? I looked down over my body to see if anything was connected to any of my limbs. No, nothing. I was naked, lying on a...

“Lilly!" Scrotum shouted while panicking, “How long will it take Anna to clean this mess up?”“I’m sorry, sexy ass.  Anna is not programmed to move dead bodies.”Scrotum rushed over and picked up the dead woman, “Now you get Anna to clean up and I will hide her.”  Scrotum shouted to Lilly.“Whatever you desire, hot stuff,” Lilly replied back.Scrotum staggered down the corridor. He had picked the body up upside down so that h...

The year is 3462, and sadly the earth is dead. What was left of its population spread through the heavens looking for a new home. Of course, once they left earth they found out they weren't alone in the universe. The rest of the sentient life forms had just been hiding from the destructive, backward human race. They had been manipulating images and shielding the earth from messages which otherwise would have reached the p...