A woman I know showed her clit

She stroked it and had a big hit

She bought lots of toys

Which made lots of noise

But best when she let me do it

There is a young lady on Lush

Who wanted to make love in a rush

So we met up in Gwent

To see how things went

With hours spent poking her bush

I love women in satin and the ilk

With breasts poking through, giving milk

So whilst sat here alone

Vigorously stroking my bone

I am clothed in satin and silk

There was a pearly king and queen

Who didn't know which way to lean

They swapped pearls and panties

And did what they fancied

Leaning every way they deemed

The pussy she showed had much fur

So much it created allure

Somewhere deep inside

An entrance I spied

So I plunged in and satisfied her!

Some refer to my weapon as Prick

While others have called it my dick

Whether todger or cock

It counts not a jot

What matters is length and how thick!

Reminds me of the 'There's something about Mary' film, when his pal told him to rub one out before he went out for the evening. He told him he would last longer. He tried it bymut she rang the doorbell just as he climaxed. He was distracted and it shot up and landed on his earlobe. He couldn't find it, so answered the door. She saw it immediately (Cameron Diaz can see mine anytime!) and asked what it was. "Hair gel". Do she rubbed it in her hair and it stuck up as though glued!😄

A lead actor once appeared in a farce

Where his clothes came off for a laugh

The lead actress bent over

As he tripped and fell over

And his mast went straight up her arse!

Once a mature woman, for a stunt

Went on the Thames for a punt

Too late for her date, she coxed for the eight

They repaid her by filling her cunt

I love it! After my wife died, I ended up on a dating site. One night there was only 1 woman who was up fir a chat. We started by messaging on the site and then she asked me to call her. She was not a great looker but had a warmth to her. Her husband was downstairs while she was alone upstairs. Very lonely.

When I called I asked to describe what she was wearing and if she felt good. Not so.

I then suggested she change into something she really felt good in - sexy even.

She put the phone down and I could hear opening and closing of drawers or wardrobes. It took a bit of time but she came back on the phone. She described what she was wearing.

She had put a blouse on - I had mentioned I loved satin blouse on women. It wasn't satin but it was for me! She had a short skirt, and she said she had some 'nice' panties. They were lace, she said.

Anyway, I asked her to think that O was with her and that she felt so good she wanted to show me in a tantalising way. She had to feel herself and know that I was watching because she was so sexy and I wanted her.

She got really into it and ended up very hot and bothered! Then she told me she had cum. She was making faint noises before.

Then she cried on the phone! I asked why and she said it was the first orgasm she had experienced since she was young! She didn't normally feel good or even bother as her husband didn't care for her.

So phone certainly works!