It was nearly 12:45 AM when the other Rack O’ Ribs employees finally went home for the night, leaving Tawny Kuntzler to lock up. Cassie and Kevin had lingered behind and were now alone in the empty restaurant with the four dancers.

“Join us for a drink?” Tawny proposed with an alluring lilt in her voice, batting her eyelashes below her dishwater blonde bangs.

“You can’t drink—you’re only nineteen,” Cassie protested.

Wanda Clough, the red-headed Amazon queen of Carroll County, broke in. “Yeah, but Lance doesn’t mind. We’ve got a special drink called the Loosh-Dee-Boosh.”

“Huh, it sounds fun, like a roller coaster,” Cassie giggled.

“Well, it does require someone to go head over heels,” Brandi commented drily.

“C’mon, let’s head to the bar,” Abby suggested, leading the way to the main dining room.

As they walked, Kevin turned to Brandi. “I’m sorry I missed most of your AC/DC routine,” he began. “I was still recovering from Wanda’s, uh, set.”

“Brandi also does a two-song Metallica show,” Tawny cut in. “The Call of Ktulu and For Whom the Bell Tolls.”

Kevin’s eyes flew open in wonder as he imagined the dark-haired and possibly darker-hearted Brandi summoning demons from the deep during this titanic two-fer.

“Damn, Mrs. M., I think your husband mighta just cum in his pants again,” Wanda teased as she clomped behind the bar. “All right, let’s make a pitcher of Loosh-Dee-Boosh!”

To Cassie and Kevin’s amazement, Tawny quickly stripped naked again and tossed her clothes on a stool before gliding behind the bar. Meanwhile, Wanda lined up the bottles and juiced two lemons. “Tawny, did you rinse yourself out?”

“Sure did!” Tawny said with a grin, then planted her hands on the black non-slip floor mat and did half a cartwheel, flipping herself up into a handstand with her buns facing her special guests.

“Tawny was a three-sport athlete, including cheerleading,” Cassie informed Kevin.

Leaning against the bar for support, Tawny spread her legs in the air, displaying her crevices to everyone in attendance. She had a phrase tattooed on her lower back, written upside-down for good reason.

“Bottoms Up!” Kevin quoted with a laugh.

“Bottoms Up!” Tawny’s voice floated up from below the bar. “Now let’s do this before my arms give out.”

Wanda picked up a shallow glass jar and swiped some coconut oil onto Tawny’s asshole and gave it a few seconds to start melting before working it in. She then produced a funnel and slid the tip into Tawny’s ass, pressing it down until it was well past the entrance. She then narrated the recipe for the benefit of the new folks, pouring each ingredient into the funnel.

“Eight ounces of warm peach Snapple…” glug glug glug glug… “Four ounces of peach schnapps…” glug glug… “Two ounces of coconut rum…” glug… “Two ounces of freshly squeezed lemon juice…” glug… She pulled out the funnel and laughed, “Okay, Tawny, mix it!”

Tawny completed the second half of the cartwheel and stood behind the bar shaking her ass.

“Don’t let her hold it for too long,” Abby warned, rubbing the back of her white-blonde pixie cut nervously. Turning to Cassie and Kevin, she explained, “The alcohol will get absorbed directly into her bloodstream without getting filtered through her liver.” Cassie McDougal, middle school health and science teacher, nodded slowly in agreement, transfixed by the unholy sacrament unfolding before her.

“Yeah, I know,” Wanda grunted. “The first time we tried this, we were afraid we’d have to pump her stomach—from the wrong end.”

Brandi placed an empty pitcher on the floor behind Tawny, who squatted and squirted, releasing the liquid from her rectal cavity and pouring a pint of Loosh-Dee-Boosh out of her pucker and into the pitcher. She wiggled her gaping gargoyle to shake off any drops, then stood up straight and curtsied for the onlookers.

“Who’s thirsty?” Wanda cracked, brandishing the pitcher.

“Soary, but I’m driving,” Kevin announced. “I’ll pass.”

Wanda shrugged, then poured drinks into four coupe glasses. Wanda slid a glass to Cassie with an impish smile, then slid one each to Abby and Brandi, and finally took one for herself. “Bottoms up!” she howled with laughter.

Cassie raised her glass and held it to the light like Marie Curie inspecting a test tube of radioactive pitchblende; flecks of what she assumed were iced tea sediment eddied and danced in the rich amber liquid. “Bottoms up,” she repeated with a wry smile, then took a big slug, swirled it around in her mouth, and swallowed.

“There you go, Mrs. M!” Wanda jeered, then drained her own glass and slammed it onto the counter.

“Jeez, Wanda, careful,” Tawny grumbled.

Abby and Brandi clinked glasses and sipped their drinks slowly, savoring the contrast of the sweet taste of the peach and the sour notes in the background.

Cassie finished drinking her crass glass of ass, then turned the empty coupe upside-down and placed it on the bar with a faint clink. “Mmm, delicious,” Cassie cooed, then turned to her husband. “Kevin, I don’t want you to miss out. How about you taste Tawny’s ass?”

Kevin blinked a few times, then broke into a grin. “No problem, Mrs. M.”

Tawny smiled wickedly and stepped out from behind the bar, then leaned both hands on the bartop, spread her feet apart, and jutted out her rear end. Kevin crouched behind her and spread her cheeks further with his hands, and she moaned in anticipation. Kevin ran his tongue up the track of Tawny’s teen tush, and her moans became deeper.

“Get in there, Kev!” Cassie egged him on as the others hooted and catcalled encouragingly.

“Go for it!” Abby shouted.

“Lick it up! Lick it up!” Brandi sang at the top of her lungs.

“Eat it, Kev!” Wanda snorted, emerging from behind the bar to get a better view of the action.

Kevin gave a thumbs up, then focused on the eye of the tiger, flicking Tawny’s pink winker with the tip of his tongue, then worming it inside and tongue-fucking her tight sphincter as the other ladies looked on, cackling like hens in a henhouse… or maybe a whorehouse.

“You know what’d make the Loosh-Dee-Boosh even better?” Wanda snickered as she grabbed a spoon and leaned over the bar to scoop something up. “Sugar on the rim!” And with that, she poured a spoonful of sugar down Tawny’s crack, which cascaded onto Kevin’s tongue as he continued jamming it in and out of her pulsating anus.

“M-Mrs. M.?” Tawny gasped. “I-Is it okay if he f-fu—”

“Fucks you?” Cassie finished, with a lopsided grin.

“Uh h-huh,” Tawny nodded jerkily. “D-does anybody have a c-condom?”

Everyone looked around blankly for a moment.

“I guess not, hon,” Cassie said sympathetically. “He’ll have to fuck you in the ass instead. Is that all right?”

“S-Sure. I-I’ll try anything once.”

Cassie tapped Kevin on the shoulder, and he stood up, wiping some sugar granules off the corner of his mouth.

“How was that, you little butt licker?” she asked with a laugh.

“Just peachy,” he smiled, then gave his wife a quick kiss on the lips. “But it sounds like I got promoted to butt fucker,” he continued, unzipping his crusty cargo shorts and sliding them down to his ankles to expose his solid white ass and his stiff pink dick. “Get some spit on that, would you, babe?”

Abby’s eyes lit up. “I’ll do it!” she squeaked.

“Same here!” Brandi chimed in.

Cassie rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “All right, girls, get over here. I’ll keep Tawny’s engine revving.”

Abby and Brandi knelt facing each other in front of Kevin and began making out, sloppily  slurping and swapping saliva, then waited expectantly with their lips parted. Kevin slid his dick between their spit-slicked mouths and fucked the space between them while holding their heads together in a frozen kiss, with their upper lips touching above his pumping shaft and their tongues intertwining below.

Cassie crawled beneath Tawny’s chassis and began fingering and licking her sopping wet pussy which was dripping like her oil pan had sprung a leak.

“Oh, M-Mrs. M.,” Tawny breathed. “Will you s-stay down there? While he f-fucks my ass?”

“Sure thing, hon. We’re gonna make you cum so hard,” Cassie hissed menacingly.

Kevin stepped into position and pressed the head of his cock against Tawny’s tight trapdoor, then eased it gently inside. He began slowly, then picked up the pace. Tawny held still at first but began meeting his thrusts as she adjusted to him being inside her.

Cassie broke away from Tawny’s gooey cunt to lick Kevin’s balls, as well as the underside of his dick on each outward stroke of his rhythmic rutting. Mashing her face into Tawny’s undercarriage again, she slashed and lashed at her pussy while the girl began trembling and shaking. Kevin buried his cock deep in Tawny’s ass and linked his elbows under hers, holding her steady with her tits splayed out as her legs buckled and she came all over his wife’s face.

“Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Fuuuck!” Tawny wailed as her orgasm coursed through her body. Kevin released her arms and she collapsed onto the bar and lay there with her face buried in her arms as Kevin began fucking her ass again.

Cassie stood up and wiped her glistening chin with her hand. “So tell me, ladies. What does Loosh-Dee-Boosh mean, anyway?”

“Well, it’s French,” Abby Devereaux began, still staring at the spectacle before her. “It’s spelled l-o-u-c-h-e, d, b-o-u-c-h-e.”

“So what does that mean, something like foul mouth?”

“Loca de la boca,” Brandi Martínez giggled while watching Kevin’s stiff cock slide in and out of Tawny’s ass.

“Somethin’ like that,” Wanda answered. “Wanna know what the ‘D’ stands for?”

Cassie stared for a second and then cringed involuntarily when it hit her. “Ugh, you girls are sick! Let me guess, everything rhymes?”

Wanda brayed with laughter. “Yup, we originally called it the Loosh-Doosh-Boosh, but that grossed everybody out. Hey Kev, how’re ya doin’?”

Kevin flashed a shit-eating grin as he continued pounding Tawny’s ass.

“Let’s raise the stakes here,” Cassie suggested. “Brandi and Abby, would you please suck Kevin’s tits?”

“Oh, damn,” Kevin chuckled as the two girls sidled up to him and began licking his nipples.

“Wanda?”

“Yeah, Mrs. M.?”

“Would you be willing to stick your finger in Kevin’s ass?”

“Ha!” Wanda grabbed the coconut oil and moved into position behind Kevin, whispering some truly filthy things in his ear as she worked her finger inside.

Cassie stepped back to admire the scene she had orchestrated: her husband was fucking Tawny’s tight ass while Wanda finger-fucked his hot ass, with Abby and Brandi slathering spit on his sensitive tits.

Wanda, having run out of raunchy things to whisper in Kevin’s ear, stood up straight and said offhandedly, “One time we tried making another drink with pineapple instead of peach; we called it the Piña Colonic.”

Cassie’s jaw dropped as she had a flash of inspiration. “Kevin! I want you to cum in that girl’s ass!”

“Y-Yeah?” Kevin puffed. “Like, now?”

“Yes!” Cassie thundered. “And if you pull out and cum on her tramp stamp, I will fucking kill you!”

Kevin slammed into Tawny one, two, three more times, going balls deep on the final thrust. His eyes rolled back into his head as he pumped spurt after spurt of rich, creamy cum into Tawny Kuntzler’s previously virgin ass. As he slid his softening dick out of Tawny’s anal aperture, Cassie began barking orders like a madam in a brothel-turned-battlefield-hospital.

“Tawny, handstand, bottoms up! Wanda, lube, stat! We’re pouring another round!”

Tawny flipped herself upside-down as Wanda stepped up and smeared a daub of semisolid coconut oil onto Tawny’s bulging bunghole. Abby sprang into action, going for the funnel, while Brandi grabbed the pitcher. Cassie dashed behind the bar and rooted around under the counter. “Aha!” she crowed as she popped up again, shaking a small can of pineapple juice.

Kevin slumped into a chair while the ladies executed the plan like the nastiest pit crew north of Loudon. Abby slipped the funnel into Tawny’s ass while Wanda peeled the foil sticker off the can of pineapple juice. She had just finished pouring it into the tank when Cassie leaned over and poured a couple of ounces of rum right behind it.

“Anything else?” Abby yelled, and Cassie smiled wickedly. She scooped some pellet ice out of the freezer bin and dumped it into the funnel, then whacked the side of the funnel to clear any clogs.

“Yeow!” Tawny shrieked as the ice passed into her ass. “That’s fucking cold!”

“Okay, Abby, close ‘er up,” Cassie commanded, and Abby pulled out the funnel. “Tawny, you can flip.”

Tawny was none too steady on her feet as she completed her cartwheel, and Wanda had to grab her before she slid sideways like a slab of rooftop snow on the first sunny day in March. With her hands under Tawny’s armpits, Wanda lowered her down onto the pitcher that Brandi was holding on the floor.

When Tawny felt the ring of plastic press into her cheeks, she whimpered a little before evacuating her bowels, expelling a slurry of cum, rum, and tiny ice nuggets in a frothy pineapple broth. Wanda eased her onto the floor as Brandi stood up, holding the pitcher aloft like Lady Liberty’s torch, then handed it to Cassie for firstsies.

Cassie swirled the pitcher and then tipped it to her lips and took a big swig.

“Oh, that is fucking delicious!” she beamed, handing the pitcher to Abby, who took a gulp.

“Mmm, yes!” she swooned, passing the pitcher to Brandi, who knocked back a healthy dose.

“Fu-uck!” she half burped, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand before giving the pitcher to Wanda, who chugged the rest of the tropical terror.

“Nice one, Kev!” she roared before handing the pitcher back to Cassie and kneeling in front of Kevin’s chair. “I’m gonna suck your fuckin’ dick,” she growled before doing just that. In the meantime, Abby and Brandi had been helping Tawny sit up.

There was a bit of dastardly drink left in the pitcher, coating the sides, and Cassie tipped it up above her head and tapped it, her mouth open wide and her tongue extended to catch the falling drips. Holding them in her mouth, she knelt in front of Tawny and gave a puckish smile.

“Whatcha doin’, Mrs. M.?” she asked in a languid voice.

Cassie pressed her lips against Tawny’s and drooled the remaining dregs into her former student’s surprised but hungry mouth.

“W-Wanda—” Kevin wheezed as she bobbed her head on his dick like a buoy on Lake Winnepesaukee during Hurricane Gloria. “Oh, fuuuck…” he groaned as she drained his balls of two more dribbles of cum he didn’t know he had in him.

Wanda kissed his peckerhead and stood up to face the other girls. “So, Mrs. M.,” she quipped. “What did you think of the Piña Colonic?”

“I think we should rename it in honor of Kevin’s contribution,” Cassie replied with a devious smirk. “How about the Peñis Colonic?”