I was late coming out as a sissy cross-dresser, though I've been privately dressing in women's clothes from a young age. Whenever I got a chance to be alone, I would take out my secret stash of panties, stockings, dresses, nighties, shoes, make-up, wig, and toys. I cherished these times for solo play. Being a secret sissy impacted other parts of my life too. I keep fit, making sure my ass is firm and tight, and I take good care of my skin. When I dress up, I want to look my best. I want to be the most fuckable sissy I can be.

For years I fantasized. I chatted with other sissies and sissy chasers online, dressed up on video calls with strangers and played with my toys for them, watched hours of sissy hypno videos and dreamed of worshiping cock. Eventually, I couldn't resist anymore.

On a business trip to Amsterdam, I went to a gay sauna. In the showers, a stranger with a nice cock groped my ass and slipped a soapy finger in me while I jerked him. I lost my nerve and left him to shoot his load with some other lucky patron. A little while later, I found myself in a dark room sucking a young Spanish man's balls and jerking him until he came. I left the sauna after that, both proud that I'd gone through with it and a little disappointed I didn't go further. The truth was I didn't feel like myself in that situation. All I wore was a towel or nothing, just another guy looking for some hot action. I wanted to be my dressed-up sissy self. Still, that experience was good fodder for a few years of fantasizing. I imagined going further with the man with the nice thick cock in the shower, getting on my knees for him, a crowd of eager men gathering around, all stroking their cocks. I imagined him inviting me back to his hotel, stopping to buy me lingerie and make-up, making me his private sissy slut.

Alas, it was all fantasy. I found myself back online acting out my dreams alone in my bedroom or with a horny stranger on a video call. That is until one day, searching though the net for more ways to indulge in my secret sissy lifestyle, I landed on a sissy forum where someone had posted a link to a website claiming to be the best in helping sissies fulfill their wildest dreams. I was skeptical of course - it was most likely some kind of scam - but my horniness got the better of me. I clicked the link.

I remember so clearly the colors of the page, pink and purple edges fading to white, a sidebar with a black and white photo of a gurl from behind in stringy black lingerie and stockings with a sexy feminine ass. I was so struck with this image that I reproduced it on my own and made it my avatar for all the platforms I'm on. More important, though, is what the site claimed it could do for a sissy like me. "Have you always wanted to fulfill your ultimate sissy fantasies but are too afraid of being found out? SissyDreams is a service made just for you, by sissies like you. We know how hard it is to break out of that shell and fully embrace your sissy-hood. We know what it's like to hastily dress, to haphazardly apply make-up, to get deep in fantasy before crashing back to reality. You've been longing for a way to really embrace your slutty, sissy self, even for just one day. We are here to help." Under this text were two buttons. "I am not 18 or older" and "Take me full sissy".

So far, what they promised looked like something out of my wildest fantasies. I clicked "take me full sissy". The first thing I was hit with was a price tag. "Flat fee for our services: $1000. As out and open sissies and sissy lovers, we know what it is like to be led on by false promises and hidden costs. We want to be up front with you. You might be thinking this price-tag is outrageous, but here is what you will get:

- Your sissy fantasy completely enacted at our secure, discrete facilities.

- Car service to our nearest facility from the airport or a similar distance.

- Full stylist and make-up before the big event - you will be such a girl like never before that you (nor anyone else) will recognize you.

- Complete confidentiality.

- A gift bag to take home.

- Other special perks (depending on availability and mutual agreement).

It seemed too good to be true. And I would have dismissed it if not for the claim that SissyDreams was affiliated with three of the biggest stars in sissy porn under "Who We are." I clicked, and it took me to their testimonials. In each of their photos for the site, they wore a gold pendant that said in elegant script, "SissyDreams". They each promised complete confidentiality and satisfaction. One of them, my favorite with the short hair and curvy body, wrote "...really, anything you want to try as long as it's legal. Maybe you would like to reenact one of my videos. Maybe two of my videos? Don't be shy, gurl! Tell us what you want!"

Before midnight, I made my payment and received a confirmation email. In two weeks, if it was all legitimate and I wouldn't back out from fear, I would be living my wildest sissy fantasy. What was that fantasy? I didn't know. I wanted to suck a cock all dressed up. I wanted to suck two cocks. I wanted to suck two while getting pounded. I couldn't decide. How far would I actually go, given the chance? I could write anything I wanted on that blank field. Luckily, one of the options was "decide later." I could go back on the site any time in the next two weeks and write in any option I settled on. Until then, I had two weeks to fantasize about all the options. Any one of them might come true. Already, the price was proving to be worth it.

...More soon