(Mid 1980s) Standing naked at the back corner of my house, I peeked out to see if the coast was clear. Having to walk around the house nude was as exciting as it was daunting. Under the late morning sun, my thoughts were filled with the thrilling and terrifying possibilities of being seen. I stepped back from the corner to shake off my nerves and gather myself. The sensations from all the endorphins coursing through me were already bringing about that intoxicating sexual temper.

I wanted, if not needed, to do this. But that, or that my fear was ever-present, didn’t matter. My assignment was set, and there was no turning back.

Earlier that morning I was lying in bed, waiting for my parents to leave for work. This is how most of my summer days began, if I had nowhere else to be. Luxuriating on my comfy bed, I would kick off the covers and appreciate the pleasures of being exposed while dreaming up various ideas for the sexy fun I could bring about that day. When alone in the house, I found endless ways to explore and appease my urges.  But today was different. Even after my parents were gone, I would not be alone.

Over the years, usually for several months at a time, we occasionally took in a family friend, a young man named Andy. He had an unfortunate situation at home, and my parents helped whenever necessary. Although Andy was a few years younger than me, he was given more freedom. I had a curfew, but my parents didn’t seem to care if Andy stayed out all night. That is probably an exaggeration, but Andy would be out with his friends quite late. However, this worked to my advantage. He would sleep well into the day, thus leaving the mornings to me and my endeavors. Sometimes I would be into something that would cause me to worry that he might get up early, but more so I enjoyed the idea that he might catch me.

As my exhibitionist proclivities grew, I craved an audience - or at least the risk of being seen. This was essential to achieve the thrills I sought. As an only child, and with few real friends, my exploits around the house and yard posed somewhat limited risks for discovery. My parents, golfers in the fairway behind our house, and a few service workers were those that caught the brunt of my efforts. But when Andy was with us, he provided exactly what I needed.

My room was at the end of a long hallway, with my parents’ room at the other end. The guestroom where Andy stayed was in the middle. The bathroom he and I shared was across from his room. My parents always kept their door shut. I kept mine open. Andy, or anyone headed for the stairs would be walking toward my room, with my bed directly in front of them. I took advantage of this layout to create opportunities for Andy to ‘accidentally’ discover me in various stages and situations. I liked to put on my record albums to play and dance in my open room when I knew Andy was about. I slept nude, intentionally removing the covers, and sometimes pleasuring myself - when the mode got the better of me. I would also leave the bathroom door open in the evenings when I took my bath.

I enjoyed knowing when Andy was watching, but I would often look the other way, preferring to wonder and imagine if he was out there in the hallway watching. At some point, my mother caught on to me. But this led to little more than a campaign of her closing my doors.

Lying in bed that morning, I knew my parents were already downstairs. I was listening for the front door to close when they left, as the little voice in my head begged me to do something I had not done for a long time. She wanted me to walk a lap around the house, completely nude. I played almost daily in the backyard, as it was blocked by trees from most of the neighbors. But the front yard was well exposed. We lived on Hilton Head Island. A resort community where many of the houses are rented as vacation homes, and it is common for people to be out on bicycles or walking to the beach and other activities. I would almost certainly be seen walking through my front yard at this time of day.

I usually found any trouble to be worth the pleasures I garnered from my exploits, but I truly did not want to bring problems for my father, the Presbyterian minister. Nevertheless, I agreed to put her idea to the dice, as I often do to mollify my little voice. I got up and went to my window seat, overlooking my backyard, and rolled the dice I kept that helped me determine if and how I would follow through with such fantasies.

The dice became necessary after I chickened out of so many self-imposed dares that I was losing the thrills for which I craved. The rule was that I absolutely must complete whatever the dice confirmed. I took greater pleasure moving through these experiences believing I had no choice. This notion alone was endlessly arousing for me.

I assigned meaning to the various outcomes, and rolled my fate. Each time the dice settled with its answer facing up, little waves of heavenly sensations washed over me. I always found more pleasure, and fear, when the most extreme and risky options were confirmed - as was the case this time. The decision was that I had to walk, not run, completely naked around the house that morning before Andy woke up.

I stood at the back corner of the house taking deep breaths to calm myself, as I was shaking with excitement. Knowing I should just go for it, I took only one step forward and stopped as I heard someone coming. I froze with fear, but had no time to react anyway as Johnny came around the corner and we both jumped with surprise. My heart was racing, but I felt great relief that it was only Johnny.

Johnny lived next door and visited me regularly. We had wonderful fun together during our playtime in the yard. He liked to chase me around, and I found that to be terrific when looking for activities to keep me outside. I love to be naked outdoors, to feel the air and sun on my body, to know it is possible someone could be watching. But just standing out there with nothing to do made me feel silly and bored. Playing with Johnny was one of my favorite things - that and sunbathing. In fact, that’s how we met. Johnny came upon me one day while I was lying out in the yard. He warmed up to me immediately, to the point of being aggressively friendly.

As I stood there at the corner of the house, laughing at us both for startling each other, Johnny did just as he had done upon our first meeting. He stuck his nose right between my legs.

The first time he did this, I didn’t know what to do. It was frightfully exciting. Part of me wanted to let it happen, but I thought I could be hurt, and I didn’t know how I should really feel about it anyway. He was very strong and determined, easily pushing past my efforts to discourage him. And it wasn’t long before I blissfully surrendered.

This became an occasional thing between us for a couple of years. I always felt a little uncomfortable about it, but when things bring me pleasure, I have a habit of reasoning away the negative aspects. I rarely did much to discourage Johnny, but I never did anything to encourage him - at least not on purpose. Unless you count repeating “Good boy,” through most of these encounters.

Johnny could really get me going, but he often lost interest too quickly, leaving me to finish on my own. Nevertheless, these visits were always a rush of excitement and wicked sensations.

There at the corner of the house, Johnny nearly took me off my feet. Partly from his aggressiveness, but more from his efforts causing me to go weak in the knees. I grabbed the drainpipe on the house to steady myself, while considering the possibility of Andy waking up early and coming to look for me. I closed my eyes and let myself submerge into the intense feelings conjured by these thoughts. In the moment, part of me wanted to be discovered there with Johnny. But another part of me knew that would come with problems.

As was often the case, Johnny lost interest and started wandering around the yard. Overwhelmed by it all, on the verge of exploding, I knew I had to take my walk around the house before my little voice had time to make new suggestions to escalate things. I was not far from committing myself to something even more extreme.

I set out along the side of the house, with Johnny in tow. Moving into view of the street and neighboring houses, I felt the urge to move faster, but I couldn’t. Not only for the rule to keep a walking pace, but the dice did not allow me shoes, and much of the way was rough and painful for my bare feet. Stepping gingerly, I came out from under the shade of the trees to appreciate the warm sun along with that extraordinary feeling of being completely exposed. I think Johnny could sense my arousal as he was now practically jumping. Although seeing no one around, I was certain I would be seen… and all was okay. I settled my worries with the knowledge that it really didn’t matter. Any trouble would pale in comparison to how rewarding this experience would be. I felt absolutely amazing as I rounded the next corner to the front of the house, slowing my walk, to be sure to make the most of it.

At times such as these, I will often look down at myself or at the ground in front of me, for many reasons. I would rather not make eye contact with anyone. At the same time, if no one is around, I want to be able to think it is possible someone was there. And if things are going bad, I keep the trouble out of view, staying in my own little world where this is not happening. But when I am as into the experience as much as I was at that moment, I had to peek, hoping to see people watching. Just as I stepped from the grass onto the paved area leading to our front door, I looked up, and to my horror I saw my father’s car in the driveway.

I stopped in my tracks as my elation turned to panic. The adrenaline had my thoughts moving quickly. He was not in the car. Either I was wrong that my father had already left for work, and he was in the house somewhere when I walked downstairs and out the back door. Or, he had returned for some reason while I was in the backyard.

Had he seen me?

Had he seen me with Johnny?!

Can he see me now?

Knowing my father was likely to come out of the house at any second, I started moving along a little faster, but kept to what I felt was still a walking pace, hoping to make it around the next corner in time. Just then I caught sight of a family walking up the road, clearly headed for the beach. I ducked in front of my father’s car. While hiding, I looked at the windows of our house, wondering if he could see me. It seemed to take forever for the people to pass, while I tried to keep Johnny from drawing attention to me where I hid. At one point I hugged him tightly to keep him from running around. But I thought how this might look to my father through the window, or someone who may see me from the street.

“Is that the preacher’s daughter naked and making out with Johnny in her front yard?”

I let go of Johnny thinking it better to just let him run around. When the family moved out of sight, I continued along our front walk and moved around the corner just as a car passed. I don’t know if I was seen, but I felt relief being out of the front yard. However, I still had a problem. There was a very good chance my father would see me if I continued around to the back door, as I needed to do. So, I stayed there at the side of the house, where there were no windows. Although, this side yard was almost as exposed to the street and neighbors as the front.

It is common for me, when I find myself in situations like this, to have a mix of emotions. The excitement of being trapped in this kind of predicament is exactly what I love and seek with my adventures. But throughout, I am regularly hit with the reality of what is happening.

“What am I doing?!” I asked, as I lay down on the grass in a futile effort to hide.

I was up and down over the next 30 minutes, debating what to do. Each time I saw the vacationers walking along the road, I would lie down. Johnny thought this meant it was time to snuggle, which didn’t help me keep my hormones under control. But wherever I got up, he would run around, which I thought drew attention to the point my nerves would kick in again.

Through all this, I studied the neighbors’ windows, passing cars, and people walking by for signs of anyone watching. I think I was seen. There were just a few trees between me and the road along this side of the house. As a guy on a bike passed, he looked hard in my direction. But I couldn’t tell if he saw me or was looking at Johnny, who was running around the yard. I didn’t watch him for very long. I looked away and pretended it wasn’t happening. But after the bicyclist continued on his way, I was aroused by the idea that he saw me.

I had expected my father to have left by now and started to think he may be looking for me. If my father found me in the yard like this again, I knew it would be bad.

Riskier situations were much more exciting for me, so I had taken many chances over the years, often with the hope of being caught. My unreserved nudity and openness with pleasuring myself, was a well-known concern for my family. At one point, my father made me see a counselor for my ‘habitual self-stimulation,’ as she put it. So, I pretended that the counseling helped, and I recently had been trying to avoid being caught by my parents. The lectures and restrictions had become fewer. I wanted to keep it that way, but when Andy arrived, I couldn’t resist, and fell back into my old patterns.

There in the grass, I enjoyed the thought of just confidently walking right in the back door, past my father, and up the stairs. It wouldn’t be the first time he caught me entering the house with no clothes. While still deciding, I heard my father’s car start. I immediately continued around to the back of the house, at a walking pace, eager to complete my mandatory lap. I knew it was still too early to expect Andy would be up, unless my father woke him for some reason. My mind was filled with wonderings of what had my father home at this time, and what I might encounter when I got inside. But I didn’t have to wonder for long. I saw the sliding glass door on the back deck, which I had left open, was now closed. And my fear that it was locked was soon confirmed.

This was another of those circumstances that induced exhilaration and anxiety. It is thrilling for me to not know what will happen next, but comes with panic for the same reason.

Should I knock on the door until Andy lets me in?

Should I pretend to be sunbathing, on the completely shaded deck, until Andy discovers me?

Should I try to cover up with something from the yard?

Should I go back around to check if the front door is unlocked?

Eventually, I decided on the latter. Having completed my lap already, I didn’t have to walk. I could run if needed. And with everything that had happened so far, I was quite full of vigor. The idea of another quick visit to the front yard, while knowing I had little choice, excited me. I decided not to check if the coast was clear and just run for it. But I couldn’t bring myself to look out at the street, so I don’t know if anyone saw me as I ran up to the front door, found it locked, and quickly ran back around the house. I nearly tripped, more than once, as my running excited Johnny who followed along and ran into me several times.

Trying to gather myself on the back deck, I sat down with Johnny and thought through the remaining options to get inside. I knew I would have to be let in by someone. I preferred Andy, even for reasons other than not having to wait all day. There were different ways to get Andy to let me in, but I settled on the direct approach.

At this point in my life, I had plenty of experience with being caught doing something naughty. When I tried covering up, or showed any embarrassment, I found it mortifying. When I held my head high and acted bold, I felt proud and left my discovers with nothing they could say to embarrass me. I learned long ago that expressing an attitude that I knew exactly what I was doing, and was brave enough to do just as I wanted, was always better for me.

After psyching myself up a bit, I began knocking on the sliding glass door. Almost immediately my knuckles hurt against the glass, so my knocking became slapping. I knew this was much less likely to wake Andy, so I looked around for something with which to knock. While out in the yard searching for this item, a more provocative idea occurred to me.

Back around to the front of the house I ran to ring the doorbell. This time I watched the street closely as I needed to stay on the front porch until he answered. I rang urgently with nervous excitement, hopping up and down with impatience. I probably wasn’t out there as long as it felt, but several minutes passed. No doubt the most time I had ever spent naked in front of my house, in the daylight – at least to that point.

I thought to give up, but not soon enough. A group on bicycles came into view. Everything happened so quickly. I made eye contact enough to know I was spotted, and screeched as I ran down the stairs as fast as I could, even outrunning Johnny to the back of the house. Back on the deck, worrying they would follow me behind the house, I tried to catch my breath. Johnny was very excited at this point, but not half as much as me.

Before I really had my breathing under control, I saw Andy through the glass door. My heart raced again as I felt the surge within me. Ringing the doorbell must have worked. Andy was in the kitchen but didn’t seem to have noticed me. I quickly moved close to the house to avoid being seen while I gathered myself. But still worried about the bicyclists coming to investigate, I decided to use the momentum of my current state to take me through this next encounter with Andy.

Stepping to the door, I knocked. When Andy looked up from the bowl of cereal he was pouring, his jaw dropped. My involuntary giggling and hopping began when I saw his reaction, but I quickly regained control knowing I had to play this calmly and confidently. I gestured for him to come and unlock the door. He made his way around the counter and opened the door. Leaving the excited Johnny on the deck, I stepped past Andy, without a word, as I noticed he was slightly turning his head away while his eyes stayed with me.

“Jesus Christ, Amy! What the hell are you doing out there?!”

I don’t remember everything he said, but there was a lot of taking the Lord’s name in vain and questions that I left unanswered. I had thought to say I got locked out while sunbathing, but I felt so rewarded by his reaction that I wanted him to continue. And I loved the idea of leaving the mystery of my doings in his mind. So, I said nothing.

I’ve always considered the worst to be if someone approaches me about my exhibitionism in an aggressively negative way. But this was not that. Andy could hardly express himself without laughing. All his comments and questions came with excitement and positive energy. I had no doubt he was enjoying me.

I needed to go upstairs, but being thirsty, and wanting to prolong the encounter, I went to the refrigerator. Opening its door and standing in the cold air, while Andy continued to utter his befuddlement, had me brimming with wondrous sensations inside and out. I took my time to pick out a can of Coke, closed the refrigerator door, and sashayed my way past Andy as I looked directly into his stunned expression with audacious confidence. Delightfully rewarding for me, he was now speechless, watching me walk away.

Back in my room, I left the door open and flopped on my bed to kick and dance the overpowering jitters away. The adrenaline thankfully kept me from truly feeling the pain of my feet, aching from the rough areas of the yard. I settled on my back and began rolling the cold unopened can of Coke on my body as I played the events back in my mind.

I wondered most about what the bicyclists thought when they saw a naked girl shriek and run from the front porch, probably just before Andy opened the door to find no one there.

But I also wondered if my father had seen me, and what Andy might say to my parents. I didn’t care. The experience was fraught with challenges, panic-inducing moments, and potential dangers of various levels, leaving me to wonder what more may still come of it… But all I knew for sure was that everything was absolutely perfect.