Dear pussy diary:

I am thinking of waxing my bush for the spring and summer.

Should I?

I like the no maintenance part of my life. I scissor-snip or shave the sides to fit nicely into my bikini bottoms without a hair slip. And the older guys like a mound of pubic hair while playing with me. They say it smells sexy, too.

So maybe I will wait a little before taking it all off again.

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My pussy has never squirted during an orgasm.

I have really intense orgasms and my pussy gets wetter than a greased sheet pan, but no mysterious liquid has ever been expelled when I come.

Do guys expect women to squirt?

One guy I was with did. He heard my moaning and felt my pussy pulsate and he even stuck his tongue out in anticipation. But all he got was a soaking wet vagina but no extra window washer hosed from my taco.

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I sat on my guy’s face the other day. It’s been awhile but he requested it.

I always feel like I am going to squash him so I rather just lie on the bed with my legs spread and have him eat me that way. But I tried it his way.

I got on my knees on the bed and moved up until my pussy was aligned with his head. Then I started lowering my pussy toward his face.

I got close enough for him to sniff my musky bush and stick his tongue directly into my pussy hole.

It felt so good that I started grinding my vagina into his face, rubbing his nose with my clit as he breached my lips with his tongue.

Then he turned me over and continued eating me as I lay flat on my back.

His tongue lapped me dry and he swallowed every last drop of pussy juice that flowed.

I asked him why he turned me over and he admitted he felt like he was going to suffocate in my vagina.

I could just see the headline now: “Man drowns in woman’s pussy river.”

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I think an older man who lives in my building wants to get between my legs. He must be in his early or mid 60s and I can detect his crotch stares at the pool area.

So one day, when just the two of us were left on the pool deck, I gave him a brief show. He was sitting on the lounge opposite me so I decided to adjust my bikini bottoms when I got up from my chair. I had my sunglasses on and I briefly slid them down so he could see my bush for just about two seconds while I fiddled with the waist and pulled them back up quickly. That was enough for his penis to bone right up.

Maybe I will let him sniff the snatch and taste the taco next time.

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My guy Todd loves to eat me out. Sometimes I shower and slather cocoa butter or cinnamon cream on my thighs. That fresh aroma, mixed with my earthy pussy scent, drives him crazy. But I also noticed he gets super horny when I don’t shower. My pussy must smell stronger to him then and that really gets him going. He has even shot his load while sniffing my aromatic vagina.

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What on earth is with my friend Lynn?

We were doing some girl talk the other day when I asked her if she waxes her pussy. She got all huffy and told me not to use that “vulgar word,” that I should call it what it is: vagina.

I told her my pussy is more than my vagina. It is my clit, my labia, my vulva and my vagina.

Pussy seems an accurate all-in-one word to me.

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My guy got so excited licking my labia the other day that he started gumming the various parts. He used his lips to just lift my clit and lips into his mouth and suck them dry. I thought I wouldn’t like being literally eaten that way, but it felt so good. And he was careful not to use teeth. He must have liked it, too, because he grabbed his dick in the middle and shot a load. The ultimate compliment!

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I have a hard time doing 69. I really want to just lie back and enjoy when a guy dives into my pussy, and I can’t really do that when I am simultaneously sucking on his penis. I am a hesitant fellatio giver to begin with, just because most of the guys I have been with don’t last very long when I suck and lick. I think separating cunnilingus and fellatio into separate acts works best.

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When I was younger and wore tight jeans, I used to feel like some guys were just staring at my crotch. Was it a cameltoe or just wishful thinking of getting into the pants? Do guys like cameltoe?

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I haven’t had much experience with going down on a woman. During my younger days on a double date, I did some girl on girl.

I do want to try it again. I think it would be a way to appreciate pussy the way a guy does.

I know every pussy is different. Some have hair. Some smell stronger than others. Some have lips that are big and loose and other have lips that are tiny and taut. But they all have pussy power.

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I’m wondering if I should leave my worn panties where my guy can find them and enjoy while we are away from each other. I think some guys get really turned on by sniffing the crotch. Of course my guy can sniff the real thing when he wants, but it isn’t always convenient to have a pussy around to smell.

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Girl talk always goes back to … How big is your guy and how long does he last?

Truthfully, it’s all about what a guy does with his tongue. He has to dive right in and eat it all up. Whether his penis is 5 inches or 7 inches doesn’t really matter.

As for how long he can last, I look at ejaculation as a compliment — one in which a guy loves your body and what he is receiving so much that it’s enough to blow his load. If he does that earlier than expected, so what? He can recover and blow another load or two more before we are done.

My pussy will make sure of that.