Observational humour Stories

Overheard: In a Barber Shop in Dublin "Are you right there, Mick?" "Am I next?" "Yes, do you need the booster seat?" "Very fuckin' funny, Jimmy." "The usual?" "Yes, but do it right this time, Jimmy. Last time I left here looking like someone tried to eat a peach through a tennis racquet." "I was in a hurry that day; Mary had me wound up something fierce." "Is that a euphemism?" "It's not like you to be using the big words...

"Howaya, Mick. Pissy day out." "You're late, Davy. Did we not say 7:00?” “Sorry, I’d a bit of trouble with the wife’s birthday present.” “Oh, what happened?” “It’s a long story, Mick.” “Well it’s early yet and there’s drink to be drunk.” “Ok, well she wanted a pet for her birthday, Mick.” “A pet?” “Yes. But it had to be some kind of exotic pet.” “Exotic? Like a fucking giraffe or something?” “No, it couldn’t be a giraffe,...

I hung up with Eva, a rueful smile on my face as I felt how much I was missing her and the freedom to just make a call whenever we wished. But this was the bed we had made for ourselves, and it was unavoidable. It was, at least, infinitely preferable to the alternative option available to us. I dragged my arse up the stairs into what was becoming the football room in the house. I had all of the kit ready for the next even...

In a bit of a hurry on a Friday morning, I zoomed into a parking space outside The Coffee Drop, high on life and low on energy. I was depending on an infusion of caffeine and The Coffee Drop was just the ticket this morning. In my haste to get to the door while the queue was short, I bumped into a woman who was leaving, almost spilling the drinks she was carrying in her hands. "Hey!" she said, "Mind where you're going." "...

As I walked into The Coffee Drop, the morning sky was stretching its limbs of light, casting an eerie glow on the streets of north Dublin City. It was a chilly April morning and I was wearing just a suit jacket with a light shirt and tie underneath. There were two customers waiting for their morning caffeine fix and I joined them at the register, where Tina was busily attending to them. "There you are, Dreamboat," she sai...

I was invigorated as I woke on Friday morning after, what I felt was, a successful session on the training pitch. It was a great feeling to start the day. It was tempered, slightly, by the looming horizon of a first date with a beautiful woman and the fear that I might make myself look like a complete fucking idiot. So it was, in this twilight humour, that I set off for work, my stomach in a confused knot of triumph, on t...