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BrianJ

Overheard: In a Chinese Takeaway

Willie and Jim go out for a takeaway.

Overheard: In a Chinese Takeaway. "Here we are now, Willie, The New Emperor." "Wasn't this the Welcome at one stage, Jimmy? "It was, but it was sold and they revamped it." "I remember that, it was closed for the guts of a year." "Yeah, but it's a lot nicer now." "But, should they not have called it the New Welcome, as opposed to the New Emperor?" "What?" "They called it the New Emperor, but it wasn't called the Emperor be...

BIC

When I was all laid

Satirical take on HMS Pinafore's When I was a Lad

I was just sixteen when I began to learn How acting bad would make my bum burn. My mother and father never spared the rod. They thought beating me was ordained by God. But such punishment did not deliver me, And I became a slut, as anyone can see. From dirty words to naughty pranks My adventures earned me lots of spanks. But lying bare-bottom over daddy's knee Just encouraged me to act more naughtily. But daddy spanked me...

BIC

X is for Xenia

Xenia: in ancient lore, the ancient Greek custom of hospitality, including the giving of presents

A buxom maiden of nineteen years was Xenia Xerxes Whose step-dad told her, his guests she must please. Xenia most happily obeyed As her body she displayed Naked for all newcomers to see, squeeze and seize. Now, her step-dad, Pimpopulous, owned an inn Where many travelers from afar would drop in To enjoy their host’s treats Like his step-daughter’s teats As their bawdy Bacchanalian bash would begin. For Xenia was obedient...